i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
