i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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