i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
