so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
