My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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