she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
