After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
