well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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