he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
