I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
