he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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