What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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