just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
