So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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