I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
