I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You need a sexual gate keeper
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
