so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Found your dick twin last night
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
