do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
