that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
