If that was your dad, he is hot
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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