We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
