I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have already put on my inside pants.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
