The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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