Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
