32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
