but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
