I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
