Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
