ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
