just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
BRING THE BAGELS
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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