Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
