I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
