a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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