You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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