I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
