If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
