I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
