Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
