I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
