The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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