If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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