I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
