Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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