you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
