sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
