It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just cropdusted the office
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
