Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
