he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
