i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Randomize
