I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
