My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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