can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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