the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Hippo gnu deer
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
